"I am an Alien"

My friend Rowan thinks that the only reason we've not all been abcucted is that the aliens are too lazy. Rowan is very tall and very skinny. He gives me picky-upy-whirly hugs. I have never had a curly whurly chocolate bar or whatever they are called so i do not know if they are yummy or not, however, as we know they are chocolate, we can say they are probably yummy. We can say anything we like but it will not make it fact, but fact doesn't exist because everything is subjective and you might think the sky is blue,and maybe it is blue, but for each it will be a different blue. It was very weird because just as i typed blue, the song i am listening to, "Werewolf" By Coco Rosie, said it. This song has a very wankerish beginning but it is quite nice. I had a long argument with merryn about the wankyness of this song, but i have decided i like it. People often change their opinions so i wonder why they care so much about making a good first impression. It is nice to not be seen as annoying little shyte who someone could easily hate, but really, do you have to wear your best outfit and nicest make up and do your hair? it is all very unnecessary. It is also unnecessary to jump up and down 3 times, cross your arms like in that stretch,put onw arm on your head and the other on your knee, spin around 10 times then try and walk in a straight line, but its quite funny so i would recommend it. Trying to walk in a straight line when you are dizzy is like trying to dizzy when you are in a straight line but that does not make sense and is totally irrelevant but what is relevant? i guesswhat relevant is that if the Sycorax were more prepared and didn't try to use blood control to make the A+ jump, we would be slaves to the a different Solar System, but no of course not, because like all influential groups now-a-days we must take the short cut and do everything the easy way! 

Duno what's up with all the repetitive business but 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46erCj_Rii0

If it can't be fixed with duct tape, it's not worth fixing.

Well Well Well, what do we have here? Time to tell a story I think. 

There is an odd little fairy who lives on my back doorstep. He is not a tooth fairy because he likes to eat chips and cheese. One day when he was in the garden he was being chased by a big dog called Boo and Boo was going to eat him so he ran far far away from home all the way 3 doors down and took shelter under a little nome called Chuckles. Chuckles decided to tell the little fairy a story about a pig.

"Once upon a time there was a pig. The pig really really wished he could swim like a dolphin but the dolphin told him that he was an arrogant little swine would should keep his grotty little trotters out of the ocean because all the clams would die. The clams were very upset because they did not want to die so they told the pig that if he could fly they would let him swim. The pig knew that if he didn't have any wings he would not fly so he went and visited Mr Po the dragonfly. Mr Po said that he should not worry, I will tell you a story

"Once upon a time there was a little penguin who loved to munch on grass. His name was Butters. Butters was a very old and depressed penguin who liked to sit around all day drinking red cordial and eating grass. One day he thought that enough was enough and packed up a little swag full of cordial and grass and decided to move to the desert. In the desert he became very hot and tired and being the old grumpy bum he was decided that he may as well die rather than go on like this. He sat under a little tree and a tiger came up to him and said "GO AWAY THIS IS MY TREE!" the penguin was so scared that he died of a heart attack. The tiger felt horrible. He went to the shrink. his shrink told him to collect all the dandy lions in the world so he set out on an adventure to find all the dandy lions. tiger hated dandy lions because they  reminded him of lions. He walked through the desert and found all the dandy lions, then we waled the the north pole and found them. He walked all over the world collecting lots and lots of dandy lions. He decided that it was too hard and gave up. As the tiger had not finshed his mission, he died an old lonely tiger who had death forever on his mind. 

So my dear little pig you should never give up on your dream or you will end up being a very delicious piece of bacon or ham or pork on some ones dinner plate."

"Thank you mister Po. You have very wise words"

The pig then ripped of Mr Po's wings, shot him in the forehead and ran away. "KARMA MY ARSE" said the little pig as he scampered away. he then went to the tallest cliff near the beach where the clams and dolphin lived, used some duct tape to stick his wings on and JUMPED!

He fell down into the ocean , landed on the dolphin and they were never seen again. The Clams felt horrible and all went there separate ways and never saw each other again.  

So you see my little bo peep of a fairy, you should give up and not bother as the world will never give you what you want, you have to work for it, and even then you will only sometimes be lucky. But it is that tiny bit of hope that keeps us going and lets us having interesting lives. Imagine if we instantly got what we wanted. It would not work, because peoples wants would contradict each other and the world would be forever exploding then re attaching its self. people would fall in and out of death. Use that morsel of hope to live a good fulfilled life and you will be fine. Take nothing for granted and now go wander about down the street and take in everything you see."

"By golly gosh you are the most boring nome i have ever met. Why don't you speak some sense next time? I think i will go and watch Big Brother now. 

"ater-lays uckle-chays! "

"That fairy will probably die now." and sure enough as he wandered down my street onto the road he was hit by a car and killed instantly. 

THE END.

i felt it necessary

 Beshou enjoys long walk on the beach... 

but not really because he is scared of water.

"Give me the start of a sentence..."

For the people that love cats; I have a dog called Beshou who was born on the first of April making him a fool. I love him dearly but i think that i may be a cat person but do not tell Beshou this or he might bite me. he can jump up to my chin, and even though i am a small person, he is a small dog and i would not like him to bite my chin. ouch.

This morning i woke up early because my alarm went off, as i have issues waking up i decided to stay awake but not turn it off so that  i wouldn't go back to sleep but i ended up getting up out of bed, turning off my alarm the second time it went off and then going back to bed to sleep. This angers my mother greatly as i will then usually miss the train and she will drive me to school.

When you think about it, people make much more sense than everyone says because at some point someone must have know what they were thinking before they say it even if they loose themselves half way through. People will say "Think before you speak" but everyone thinks before they speak, they just don't think it through to what the consequences may be, but does it really matter what the consequence is? half the time the people we are friends with are forgiving and it all blows over in the end and that week of hostility is but a mere freckle on what ends up as your life so do not fret the small stuff and even don't get too worked up on the bigger stuff but maybe some of the really big stuff needs some addressing? 

It was a cold, black night when they first met. the whales stomach was not a place either of them wanted to be. "How did you get here?" 

"the same way you did"

"How long have you been here?"

"The same amount of time as you, but as it is cold and dark and my watch has run out of batteries i could not tell you in minutes. The funny thing about minutes is that is is spelt the same a minute meaning small. the word minute always reminds me of newts the little lizard that run around in my back yard. Many a times i have been walking down the garden path and come across a flat dry shriveled lizard. My dog likes to chase bug and if they do not move he will poke them until they do or until they are dead, which seems a bit cruel but him begin an animal and all there is not much you can do bout it because it is his survival instinct. People have much less survival instinct than they used to and i feel that as the generations progress, the technology will progress and everyone will end up hunched over with very little movement in their fingers and their legs will get smaller until they have no feet and are just the top half as today everything is done for us with the use of computers. As convenient as it can be sometimes we are so technologically dependent that one day when the world is run by robots from self running computer programs the computer will crash or there will be no more electricity and it will be complete mayhem as people will no longer have any of their own survival skills and the world will become apocalyptic  as  no one knows how to do anything for themselves. I hate how our generation is so internet dependent but i myself am because it IS there and it CAN be convenient as as current society is much more aware of the dangers of the world it becomes stricter. i wish i lived in the days where you could play cricket on any street and not be run over by some lunatic drunk driver because neither of the parties know what they are doing. When people were allowed to do things, they could do the with more sense and knew what they were doing, as soon as you put a regulation or ban on something, someone will do it, and because it is not something that is necessarily legal will be uneducated and they will not be able to do a reliable risk check as they have not been educated on it are are more likely to hurt themselves. In most park now, there is only limited equipment or in school playground bans on certain pieces of equipment, just because one kid someone broke there arm but, by the that one kid hurting themselves, it sent a message out to the whole playground not to do that or you will get hurt, now little kids just want to rebel and so they will do silly things because they have no experience with them. but anyhow thats enough of that. "

"Cool story Hansel". 

"Now how the hell do we ever get outta here?"

"over and out. "

Utter nonsense for the untrained eye

my friend Merryn

she is the one person who i think is worth writing about. She is a Sheep-y captain of the Village Idiots and will one day be a world dominator (She will be a dictator). She has a friend called Maddy who is the Leader of the All Seeing All Knowing. Maddy sprayed me with silly string today and i squirted her with a water pistol. 3, 2 there way. Merryn has a funny hat. Merryn has a funny music. Merryn is funny and i like merryn. This has been written with poor english skills due to merryn's incapability to type properly. "I bet Yoda can't type!" 

Alex is also my friend who is not merryn or maddy. she said i should write about her so i shall. Alex likes Toy Story and Ryan Shcekelface. She is always going on about one thing or another which is better than going on about nothing.

 Summer is fast fading and autumn is on his way over for a nice cup of tea and as the weather cools i shall stay in bed but not really cos i am legally obliged to go to school. School is fun sometimes like in drama but can be also not fun in other subjects. maths i do not like and engish is not so smelly. Brighde smells sexy as she is my sexy beast and also if my train of thought were a real train i think everyone would be lost and no one would bother buying a ticket except people who wanted to pay to go nowhere if you follow me. if you did follow me you would probably get pretty bored as the places i go are not too interesting but who cares about the place when you have good company? This is why i am not bored of my life. I cannot tolerate tools as they are just a bit silly. when i say tools i do not mean tools that you use to build things but the colloquial term . Urban dictionary meaning: "A person, typically male, who says or does things that cause you to give them a 'what-are-you-even-doing-here' look. The 'what-are-you-even-doing-here' look is classified by a glare in the tool's direction and is usually accompanied by muttering of how big of a tool they are. The tool is usually someone who is unwelcome but no one has the balls to tell them to get lost. The tool is alwasys making comments that are out-of-place, out-of-line or just plain stupid. The tool is always trying too hard to fit in, and because of this, never will. However, the tool is useful because you can use them for things; money, rides, ect."

Luckily none of my friends are tools, unfortunately i do know some.

I am currently listening to Sweet Road by animal collective and i think it is a very nice song and is good for a summer/autumn transition. 

I do not think i have anything else to say so i shall depart.

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