If it can't be fixed with duct tape, it's not worth fixing.

Well Well Well, what do we have here? Time to tell a story I think. 

There is an odd little fairy who lives on my back doorstep. He is not a tooth fairy because he likes to eat chips and cheese. One day when he was in the garden he was being chased by a big dog called Boo and Boo was going to eat him so he ran far far away from home all the way 3 doors down and took shelter under a little nome called Chuckles. Chuckles decided to tell the little fairy a story about a pig.

"Once upon a time there was a pig. The pig really really wished he could swim like a dolphin but the dolphin told him that he was an arrogant little swine would should keep his grotty little trotters out of the ocean because all the clams would die. The clams were very upset because they did not want to die so they told the pig that if he could fly they would let him swim. The pig knew that if he didn't have any wings he would not fly so he went and visited Mr Po the dragonfly. Mr Po said that he should not worry, I will tell you a story

"Once upon a time there was a little penguin who loved to munch on grass. His name was Butters. Butters was a very old and depressed penguin who liked to sit around all day drinking red cordial and eating grass. One day he thought that enough was enough and packed up a little swag full of cordial and grass and decided to move to the desert. In the desert he became very hot and tired and being the old grumpy bum he was decided that he may as well die rather than go on like this. He sat under a little tree and a tiger came up to him and said "GO AWAY THIS IS MY TREE!" the penguin was so scared that he died of a heart attack. The tiger felt horrible. He went to the shrink. his shrink told him to collect all the dandy lions in the world so he set out on an adventure to find all the dandy lions. tiger hated dandy lions because they  reminded him of lions. He walked through the desert and found all the dandy lions, then we waled the the north pole and found them. He walked all over the world collecting lots and lots of dandy lions. He decided that it was too hard and gave up. As the tiger had not finshed his mission, he died an old lonely tiger who had death forever on his mind. 

So my dear little pig you should never give up on your dream or you will end up being a very delicious piece of bacon or ham or pork on some ones dinner plate."

"Thank you mister Po. You have very wise words"

The pig then ripped of Mr Po's wings, shot him in the forehead and ran away. "KARMA MY ARSE" said the little pig as he scampered away. he then went to the tallest cliff near the beach where the clams and dolphin lived, used some duct tape to stick his wings on and JUMPED!

He fell down into the ocean , landed on the dolphin and they were never seen again. The Clams felt horrible and all went there separate ways and never saw each other again.  

So you see my little bo peep of a fairy, you should give up and not bother as the world will never give you what you want, you have to work for it, and even then you will only sometimes be lucky. But it is that tiny bit of hope that keeps us going and lets us having interesting lives. Imagine if we instantly got what we wanted. It would not work, because peoples wants would contradict each other and the world would be forever exploding then re attaching its self. people would fall in and out of death. Use that morsel of hope to live a good fulfilled life and you will be fine. Take nothing for granted and now go wander about down the street and take in everything you see."

"By golly gosh you are the most boring nome i have ever met. Why don't you speak some sense next time? I think i will go and watch Big Brother now. 

"ater-lays uckle-chays! "

"That fairy will probably die now." and sure enough as he wandered down my street onto the road he was hit by a car and killed instantly. 

THE END.